


I Will Always Love Her

by MelliesRegina44



Category: Emmerdale, vanity - Fandom
Genre: F/F, Vanity, Vanity Fest, vanityfest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-28 07:20:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16236905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelliesRegina44/pseuds/MelliesRegina44
Summary: It's been a year since Charity left Tug Gyhll but thirteen year old Johnny and Moses can't take it anymore. Happy Vanityfest day 2. TROPE prompt!





	I Will Always Love Her

“Have fun with your brother and mum Moz. Text me tomorrow, yeah?” Charity hugged her son. He rolled his eyes and began to walk up the path toward Tug Gyhll. He didn’t miss Vanessa staring out the window, eye watering. He didn’t miss Charity stand at the car far longer than she needed to just so that she could catch a glimpse of the other woman.

This is how it’s been for over a year now. Moses spent every other weekend with Vanessa and Johnny spent the weekends that Moses wasn’t at Vanessa’s with Charity. They were close, Johnny and Moses, practically inseparable. They have been ever since they were three. It’s been 10 years since the two began to claim each other as brothers and even though they’ve had their fair share of fights, they’d never let the other down.

As Moses opened the door to Tug Gyhll, he barely saw Vanessa move away from the window pretending like she hadn’t been standing there watching the whole time. Johnny came running down the stairs and hopped over the back of the couch to sit in front of the telly. “Johnny, how many time do I have to tell you to stop running down the stairs like that? And you’re going to break something if you keep flying over the sofa.” Johnny began to respond, no doubt sarcastically, but Moses interrupted so he could save his little brother from getting into more trouble. “Hiya mum.” He set his bag on the bottom of the stairs before making his way to the kitchen to hug his mother. 

Vanessa never got tired of hearing Moses call her mum too. It had been 10 years but everytime she got butterflies in her stomach. The boy was just like her. He’d picked up on her mannerisms and brains. While Johnny grabbed all the Dingle personality he could handle. She knew from the moment Johnny started following Charity around everywhere and copying every word she said that he’d grow up to be a trouble maker. She couldn’t complain though. Vanessa loves Johnny more than anything and she would be lying if she said having that Dingle personality around the last year without Charity has made some things easier. Not that they’d ever be easy without the love of her life by her side.

“I’m gonna order you boys a pizza tonight. I’m actually going to the pub with someone for a drink. But I won’t be late and you two will be fine in front of the telly with videogames and pizza I’m sure?” She smiled at the boys already staring at the screen in front of them. Each had a controller in their hands. They were playing some kind of racing game. 

“Sure mum. Tell Rhona I said hi.” Moses said without his eyes ever leaving the screen. “Oh she’s not going to see Rhona. She’s going on a date…” Vanessa tried to cut him off but he finished his sentence. Before she could say anything Moses was standing up off the couch and walking toward her. “Hey!” Johnny yelled as Moses walked in front of the screen.

“You’re dating? What about mum? You’re just going to leave her like that?” Moses squinted his eyes at her. She could see he was upset.

“Moz, your mum and I aren’t together anymore. It’s been a year. I’m sure she’s seeing other people too.” Vanessa tried to reach out and touch his arm but he pulled away. “You know that’s not true. You know that she would never be with anyone else but you. You’re the one who kicked us out.”

Johnny looked between his mum and his brother. He missed his mums being together but not like Moses does and Johnny’s never been able to talk about it.

“You know that I didn’t kick you out. This is always your home.”

Moses shook his head, his face wet with tears. “You kicked out mum and you knew she’d take me. You didn’t care.”

Vanessa was hurt that he was upset but she was upset that all of the blame was being put on her. “Moses, that isn’t what happened. I love you and-”

“And mum?”

“Moses…” Vanessa sighed.

“No. Do you still love mum?” He balled his fists at his side. 

Vanessa felt a single tear roll down her face. “Course I do. I will always love her. More than anything probably. But..”

“But what? That should be enough. It’s enough for mum.” He whispered the last part and whipped the tears from his eyes.

Vanessa didn’t let anymore tears fall. She has spent the last year fighting to move on from Charity. She’s the one who left. Things were too serious or too hard or too easy. Vanessa never really knew. Charity left without any explanation. It wasn’t like Vanessa didn’t fight for her to come back. She fought like hell but Charity never gave her a real answer. It wasn’t until 3 months after she left that Charity told her there was someone else. She wasn’t in love with her anymore like she used to be. So Vanessa finally stopped trying.

“Moz, lets go upstairs. Let mum get ready.” Johnny put his arm around his brothers shoulder. He could feel Moses’s resistance but he let him pull him up the stairs anyway. Johnny tried his best to smile reassuringly at his mum but he was upset too.

When she heard the bedroom door close upstairs, Vanessa finally let out the breath she was holding. She sobbed silently, holding her arms against herself. She wished that Charity never broke her heart like this but she did and she was trying to deal the best she could.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Vanessa sat in a booth in the corner of the pub. Across from her, a beautiful, tall blonde woman sat talking about her job as a solicitor. If Vanessa were honest, she wasn’t the slight bit interested in what the woman was saying. She just put a fake flirty smile on her face and nodded along. It was impossible to get Charity out of her thoughts though. Especially after her talk with Moses earlier. Vanessa missed her. Every single day she missed her. Her touch, her eyes, her mouth, her mind. Everything. It didn’t matter though because Charity didn’t want Vanessa anymore and Vanessa could never forgive her for that no matter how she tried. So a distraction it was.

“It’s so interesting to listen to you talk about your job. You must really love it.” Vanessa tried her best to sound like she really was interested. “I do love it. I’m glad you can tell. I thought I had lost you for a second there.” The woman laughed, an insecure smile played at her lips. “Didn’t lose me. Just got distracted because I think you’re really gorgeous.” The woman blushed and Vanessa continued. “What do you say we sneak off for a bit?”

XXXXXXXXXXX

“Johnny, I have a plan. I don’t think you’re gonna like it but I need your help.” The two kids finished their pizza and were in front of the telly flipping through the stations when Moses spoke up.

“A plan for what, Moz?” Johnny rolled his eyes. Usually, he was the one coming up with schemes for the two of them and if Moses ever did come up with something it was never a good plan.

Moses looked down at his hands. He still held a controller and was playing with the buttons. “I want to get mums back together.”

Johnny couldn’t help but chuckle. “They aren’t getting back together. It’s been a year. You have to stop hoping like this. It’s over with them.”

Moses shook his head in protest. “No. I don’t think it is. You heard Ness today. She said she’ll always love mum and you’ve heard mum at home. She still thinks that we can’t hear her every night sobbing into her pillow. She misses her too J.”

He knew his brother was right. He just couldn’t bring himself to push his mums back together again. Johnny wanted to be a family too but he didn’t want to see either one of them hurt again. The last year has been hard for everyone. That’s why he didn’t want to let Moses down. “Okay then. Go on.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXX  
“Mum can you hurry to the pub? I got locked in the cellar and no one else will pick up.” Johnny hung up when his mum said she’d be right over. Just then Charity came storming into the cellar, an unimpressed look on her face.

“What are you two doing? Think you can sneak off into the cellar and have a bit to drink and think that I wouldn’t notice?” Charity waved her hands in the air and moved closer to the two boys who looked terrified. Neither knew what to say to her so they just looked at each other quickly before turning back to the angry woman in front of them. “The two of you wait until your mother hears about this.”

Just then Vanessa came tumbling into the cellar in a panic. “Are you two alright? What are you doing down here?” She hugged them both not even noticing anyone else in the small room. The boys turned so that they now were the closest to the door to exit. That’s when Vanessa noticed the other blonde woman in front of her. She felt her body trembling. 

Charity cleared her throat before speaking again. “These two thought they could sneak off and drink some and we wouldn’t notice. Where were you anyway? They’re supposed to be with you?” She looked at the black skinny jeans and black top Vanessa was currently wearing with her black leather jacket laid across her arm. Charity then realized what she was dressed up for and felt the self consciousness she hasn’t felt in years well in her chest. “Oh. I see. Left these two for a date, yeah?”

Moses and Johnny slowly backed up to leave the cellar. “We’ll just leave you two to talk then.” Before their mums could protest they slammed the door. Outside the door the boys shoved a couple of chairs up against the door and sat down so that their mums couldn’t escape.

Charity banged her fist on the door. “Oi! You two better open this door right now or I will string you both up by your toes.”

“No. You both can’t come out until you’ve talked.” Moses shouted back through the door. “Moses Woodfield-Dingle. Johnny Woodfield-Dingle. I swear you better open this door right now.” Charity yelled back but she received no answer. With a huff she spun around on her heels and moved to sit on a chair in the corner.

“What’s this all about? Leave my son with you for a few hours and all of a sudden we’re locked up together.”

Vanessa’s eyes had been glued to Charity since she noticed her presence but now she had to look away. She turned her back toward her and stared at the floor in front of her. “Your son?”

“No, look, that’s not what I meant. I’m just upset. Moses is your son too.” Charity sighed. Apologies weren’t her thing and she couldn’t force herself to do it now. She already spent the last year destroying one of the best things to happen to her because she was scared. It was too late for apologies now.

“This isn’t my fault. Can’t blame everything on me Charity.” Vanessa felt all the anger bubble inside her. When Charity didn’t respond to her she finally turned to face her. “You don’t get the right to be angry with me. You’re the one who left. You’re the one who was seeing someone else while we were together. Not me. So if this…” She pointed between the two of them. “Is anyone’s fault, Charity, it’s yours.”

“You think I don’t know how badly I screwed up Ness? I told you from the beginning I would. I did repeatedly for 9 years and you still didn’t believe that I would really just completely mess it up one day. I tried to tell ya, but you’re so damn stubborn you couldn’t listen to me. You just tried to-”

“I tried to what Charity? Love you? Support you? Because that’s all I ever tried to do and you know it.” Vanessa could feel the heat in her face from anger.

“This wasn’t ever going to work. I did you a favor.” Charity smiled sarcastically at the woman in front of her. It was true. Charity knew she was always doomed to fail at this relationship but the longer it went on the harder it would’ve been when it really happened.

“You are so selfish, you know that? You didn’t do me any favor. You didn’t do our boys any favor. You left. We spent 9 years of our lives together and you just left without any reason.”

“I told you the reason Vanessa. I found someone else. We’re happy together.” Charity lied.

“Bullshit Charity. I know when you’re lying. You’re not seeing anyone. I don’t think you ever have been.” That was something playing on Vanessa’s mind for 9 months but she had never said it outloud before.

Charity laughed. Mostly just to help herself. “Oh come on. I am happily in a relationship. Have been for almost 2 years.”

“Quit lying to me.”

“I’m n-”

“You are Charity! I’m not an idiot and stop trying to turn me into one.” Vanessa yelled at her and tears spilled down her cheeks.

“Fine Vanessa. You know what? No I’m not seeing anyone. Never was. Happy? I lied. I’m a liar. I ruin everything and I lie that’s what I do.” Charity crossed her arms and sat back in the chair. She kept her face hard.  
“Why then? I deserve to know why.”

Charity swallowed hard. She has lived regretting this for the last year. Truth is, she never stopped loving Vanessa but she was scared. It was so real and she felt like she was losing control. She told herself after Declan that she’d never lose control again but she did and it hit her suddenly so she ran. She leaned forward and put her face in her hands. When she mumbled a response Vanessa sighed in frustration. “I can’t hear what you’re saying.”

“I got scared okay? I ran because it’s what I do best.” Charity was now fully in tears. Vanessa stared at her in confusion. “The ring Vanessa. I found the ring and it scared me. I thought that everything was enough as it was and then you bought a ring. I couldn’t bare you getting down on one knee and asking me to be your wife when I knew that eventually I’d screw it all up. Not only would I break your heart but I would break Moses’s, and Johnny’s, and Noahs, even Debs’s. And mine.Turns out that was stupid because I did that anyway.”

Vanessa shook her head in frustration. She couldn’t stop the wetness pouring down her cheeks. “You are such an idiot sometimes. You’re so selfish and you’re so flipping hard when you don’t need to be. You could’ve said no if that’s what you wanted. You didn’t have to pick up your life and our son and leave me alone.”

“God Ness that’s not what I wanted.” The words were so hard and so confident. Charity had a long time to think about what she did and she knows now that if Vanessa would’ve asked her for some “Mrs. and Mrs white wedding” she would’ve said yes.

“You wouldn’t have said no?”

“I never could’ve looked you in those puppy dog eyes, filled with more love than I’ve ever known in my life, and told you that I didn’t want a little slip of paper that said we’re gonna be together forever.” She said it finally. She dropped her head into her hands again. After a year of crying into her pillow at night. After a year of avoiding Vanessa at all costs. She finally said what she was too scared to say from the beginning. Charity was so lost in her confession she didn’t notice Vanessa standing centimeters away.

Neither could bring themselves to say anything. Instead they looked into the other’s eyes. There were more feelings laced in their confessions than they had felt in 12 months. They were overwhelmed. But both knew that they couldn’t resist each other.

When their lips crashed together, it was hard and sloppy. Their hands were holding onto the other’s hair painfully tight but they could care less. It didn’t compare to the pain they spent the last year dealing with.

When they pulled away, they were out of breath. Charity felt crushed at the pain in Vanessa’s eyes. Pain that she placed there. “Ness… you don’t…”  
“Charity Dingle. If you ever, ever, hurt me or one of those boys again I will never forgive you.” 

“So you forgive me now?” Charity was practically begging.

“Forgive? Eh, maybe a bit too soon for that. But I have never stopped hoping this was all a dream and I never stopped loving you.” Vanessa held Charity’s face in hands tight. She wanted to make sure that Charity really heard what she was saying.

“I love you, Ness.”


End file.
